What to Do When Your Boyfriend Ignores You? And Should You Ignore Your Boyfriend?
So your boyfriend has been ignoring you. If you’re like most women, you might be tempted to call it quits. Or maybe you have something planned to teach him a lesson. Either way, it’s a frustrating situation, and it can be tough to figure out how to handle it appropriately.
Unfortunately, there’s no single solution to deal with the issue of a boyfriend ignoring you. But in this article, we’ll go over several strategies that can help you address the problem (and hopefully, solve it in a way that benefits you).
What Happens When He Ignores You?
We’ve all been there. In between seeing each other, you send sweet texts, or funny memes, or anything that helps you keep in touch. And then, suddenly–no reply.
It’s confusing and upsetting if your boyfriend starts ignoring you, especially without reason. Most of us need a little space after a fight or disagreement. But when it happens out of nowhere, it’s hard to know what to do.
If you’re unfortunate enough to have this happen to you, it’s important to consider the situation before you act. If your boyfriend is ignoring you (and especially if you have no idea what’s caused him to do so), here’s how to handle it.
What Might Cause Your Boyfriend to Ignore You?
If your boyfriend starts ignoring you out of the blue, it’s important to look at the situation logically. Before you decide how to deal with it, consider the following:
He May Be Busy or Preoccupied
It sounds obvious, but it has to be said–many of us easily become invested in a relationship early on. So if your boyfriend occasionally ignores you, he may not even mean to.
Better Help on their website explains that, in some cases (and especially if it’s occasional), your boyfriend may be busy with work or other commitments that make it hard for him to respond in a timely manner.
If he only ignores you on occasion, he may be very busy, or even just forgetful. However, if the ignoring happens on a more regular basis, this might not be the case.
He Might Feel Like Things Aren’t Working
The fact that “ghosting” has become a term is a sad testament to the fact that many people–both men and women–stop communicating when they feel they aren’t a good match to someone they’ve been talking to.
And while your boyfriend ignoring you may well be due to different circumstances, it’s possible that he’s doing it because he isn’t sure how to end the relationship.
He Might Be Into You, But Feel Like Things Are Moving Too Fast
Some of us fall hard and fast, and other take time to get used to a relationship. It’s entirely possible that he’s still into you, but he might feel like things are progressing too quickly. And unfortunately, many people tend to back away when they aren’t sure how to tell you they want to slow down a bit.
If your boyfriend falls into this category, reaching out to ask him what’s going on may well prove to be helpful.
The key here is to understand him on a deep emotional level, and how the subtle things you say to a man affect him much more than you might think. If you’re frustrated with your man going cold, losing interest, or pulling away, then click here to understand what it is he secretly wants, but will never tell you.
What Should You Do When Your Boyfriend Ignores You?
As we’ve seen, there are many possible explanations for why your boyfriend has started ignoring you. The following suggestions might help you decide what to do if you want to reconnect with him or, at the least, understand why he has suddenly become so distant.
You Might Need to Call Him Out
Even if you suspect your boyfriend is trying to slowly ghost you, it can be helpful to reach out. After all, the worst that will happen is that he’ll confirm your fears and say he doesn’t see things working out.
Zoosk, a renowned and established dating site, offers a non-confrontational way to start a conversation if you suspect he’s ignoring you.
They suggest sending a text that explains how you feel while also inviting him to explain his distance. Mention that you notice he doesn’t text and/or call as often as he used to, and end with a question asking if anything is going on.
If a guy is still into you and wanting to continue the relationship, he will likely apologize and explain. In some cases, he may have had to deal with family or work issues and hasn’t even noticed how much they have impacted your relationship.
This eplanation makes sense when first offered. Of course, if he begins to show a pattern of ignoring you and expressing contrition only when called out, he may just not be invested in the relationship.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for What You Need
Relationship coach Irina Baechle stresses that you may need to check in with your partner and explain what you need. All too often, relationships rely upon subtle signs from both parties. But if your boyfriend isn’t getting it, you may need to spell it out.
Vulnerability is often uncomfortable. But if this is someone you’re seriously interested in, you might need to be bold. You may want to call or send a text that reinforces your interest but also spells out what you need (in this case, clear and regular communication). If he’s interested, he likely will respond, and this can spark a conversation that has the potential to improve your relationship.
Whatever You Do, Don’t Badger Him
Paired Life explains that consistently badgering a guy who is ignoring you is no way to solve the problem. However, it’s important to keep in mind that “badgering” is not the same as “trying to start a conversation with.“
If you want to know why he’s ignoring you, sending a heartfelt but clear text about how you see the relationship may be helpful. But sending repeated texts like “hey,” “what’s up,” and “how is your day” aren’t likely to solve the problem. While it’s certainly temptimg, double-texting and triple-texting in an attempt to get his attention likely won’t grant you the outcome you want.
If you want a reaction, or even better, if you want to trigger strong feelings of attraction and adoration in your man, you have to know how to get on the same frequency with him.
Imagine never having to deal with his silent treatment again.
When you know how to read him and know what he’s thinking and feeling, unpleasant situations like the silent treatment will be a thing of the past.
How to Ignore Your Boyfriend to Teach Him a Lesson. Or is That Even a Good Idea?
If your boyfriend is ignoring you, it’s completely undertandable that you might want to ignore him right back to teach him a lesson. And while this might be a logical-seeming step to take, it rarely works.
Bustle notes that, in some cases–especially when the couple is economically disadvanataged–one person ignoring the other for a short period of time doesn’t have a clear negative effect on the relationship.
That said, ignoring your boyfriend back is rarely the right course of action. Here’s why.
It Doesn’t Resolve Anything
If you’re like most people, your disappointment, anxiety, and other feelings surrounding your boyfriend ignoring you aren’t the only thing weighing on you. You probably want to know why he started ignoring you in the first place.
Plenty of women avoid confronting the issue because they don’t know what to expact, or because they don’t want to confirm their fears that their boyfriend has lost interest. However, if you let him continue to ignore you without action on your part, the conclusion is almost certain: he’ll continue to avoid you, and you won’t know why.
In a sense, ignoring him is a way to resolve the problem, but only in the sense that you’ll stop talking to one another with no closure. If you’re okay with having no closure, this might be a course of action you want to take. But if you want to figure out why your boyfriend has been ignoring you, taking the courage to try and start a dialogue is often well worth it.
It Doesn’t Tell Him There’s Anything Wrong With How He’s Acting
If you wish you could tell your boyfriend that the way he’s acting is unacceptable, the last thing you want to do is just continue the silence and do nothing. Even if it turns out that you don’t want to continue the relationship, reaching out to tell him how his ignoring you makes you feel is a good thing. After all, everyone has to learn valuable life lessons sometime.
And even if he isn’t the right guy for you, reaching out to him might teach him better communication skills that will serve him well in his next relationship.
While you should never hold yourself accountable for your boyfriend’s actions, reaching out to tell him how his actions have affected you can help him grow as a person. If you feel equipped to reach out to him after he’s ignored you, it’s possible for both of you to learn better communication skills.
It Ultimately Harms You
Not knowing why your boyfriend is ignoring you is something that can continue to eat at you, even long after you’ve logically concluded the relationship must be over. Consider the last time something happened to you that left you with no closure. If you’re like most people, lack of closure is distressing, and it can ultimately become distracting.
Understandably, you might be avoiding reaching out to your boyfriend because you suspect he isn’t interested, or he’s seeing someone else, or he has so much going on that he can’t reliably commit to a relationship. And while reaching out might end up being painful, it’s like ripping off a band-aid.
If it turns out the relationship isn’t going to continue, the initial realization might be painful, but confronting that reality head-on will help you process it more quickly.
Plus, when you aren’t hung up on a guy who won’t stay in touch, you’ll have more energy to focus on yourself, or on finding the next guy. Which might be the best answer to “how to make him feel guilty for ignoring you“. And who knows–that next guy might end up being perfect for you.
In short, the answer to “how to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson” is – don’t do it just to teach him a lesson. At best, it just confirms what he’s likely thinking-that the relationship has fizzled out, or that you aren’t committed to it. And at worst, it’s a pointless exercise that just leaves you wondering without doing anything to solve the initial issue.
When It’s Time to Let It Go
What to do when your boyfriend ignores you? If you feel it’s best to disengage completely, that’s a viable option. But in most cases, it’s a good idea to reach out to your boyfriend to ask about what’s going on. And like we mentioned above, telling him something that lets him know you care–even saying something as simple as that you love spending time with him–is a great way to try and start a dialogue.
If all goes well, he’ll answer you and your relationship will continue. Or at the very least, you’ll get some insight into where he’s coming from. However, if he ignores you (or if he seems committed to change and then reverts to old behavior), it’s likely time to move on.
Some people might prefer to keep reaching out, and this is understandable. However, if he has shown repeatedly that he isn’t going to keep communicating with you, it’s healthiest to go your own way. Even if you’re emotionally invested, it’s best for your general well being to realize that the realtionship is unlikely to work and to move on. Continuing to pursue him is likely to make you feel unwanted and emotionally worn out.
Having a boyfriend start ignoring you can make you feel hurt, insulted, and disrespected. And while each relationship is different, it’s often best to reach out and see if you can get him to communicate why he’s been distant.
Of course, sometimes reaching out won’t salvage the relationship, and it sometimes won’t even elicit a reply from him at all. But ultimately, that’s okay.
Any effort to communicate in order to better your relationship is a noble one. And if it doesn’t work this time, you can take comfort int he fact that you’ve grown as a person, and that you’ll be able to approach your next relationship with a new maturity and understanding.
The good news is, you can make a simple shift in your thinking that can bring a level of love, attraction and security to your relationships that you never imagined was possible.
Watch the video below to learn how to become irresistibly attractive to your man and create an incredible relationship starting today.