It’s an all too familiar story. Girl likes Boy; Boy might like Girl but Boy won’t chase Girl so Girl ends up home alone. How do we rewrite this tale so that it has a happy ending?
Let’s try some simple psychology. Ah but just how do you make a man chase you via the use of male psychology? How do you catch his eye and hold his attention?
Make Him Chase You Forever And Appreciate You More
Striking a balance
How do you strike a balance between playing hard to get and being too pushy? Simple. Do your homework and use actual expert studies to make the guy chase you.
Know when to draw the line. Discover what time limit you should give the guy to catch you. Look into when the guy will probably lose interest in you. Learn the facts.
Playing hard to get
You’re already on the right track if you have decided to play hard to get. It might not make him want you anymore, but it certainly does get any potential personal connection started off on your terms.
Besides, as a rule, people tend to want what they cannot have. Women have been unconsciously using this trick for a long time. Check out Robert B. Cialdini’s book Influence.
Plus, it can be fun for both of you. Men are known for their love of the chase. Once he finally has you he will feel a true sense of pride at having won the game. Just remember at one point you will have to allow him to land you.
First, you need to be sure you have his attention. Once you’re certain he knows you’re alive. Then lure him in and get him interested in you.
You also need to make sure that he really knows that you are interested in getting to know more about him, but also that he will have to put in the work to get your undivided personal attention.
“Anticipation” is more than just a classic git song by Carly Simon. It is also a slightly different alternative approach. If you’re up for it, make sure the chase itself is especially exciting.
If you make the game exciting it will keep the guy interested. The great thing here is there aren’t many rules. The sky’s the limit. Anticipation, as they say, speaks for itself.
It’s important to remember that you know all of the different tactical moves to make the guy chase you. After that, you need to work hard and just make it happen.
How to Make Him Chase You Using Male Psychology
The fact is men are not that complicated. They can be stupid or even occasionally mysterious. Some men can even be shy.
More often than not though, men are assertive. Of course, these days modern feminism and political correctness might confuse things. Thus, men can also be hesitant and uncertain as to how to actually approach a woman.
So if you are asking yourself “how to make a guy chase you using male psychology”, you just need to learn how to persuade a man to pursue you and at the same time assure him it’s acceptable to do so. Many women have a lot of luck in getting guys to chase them.
Most of the others, however, have issues somewhere along the way. Have no fear. Here we will discuss everything you will ever need to know about playing hard to get and making a guy chase you.
Guys love assertive girls
Undoubtedly, there is a simple reason why that shy wallflower at the local dance is not dancing. It’s because she isn’t assertive. Keep in mind, this is not about being too confident and scaring all the guys away.
Is being immediately assertive too much for you? Start off slower. People think that what isn’t easy to get is special. If you appear to be uninterested or at least inexperienced in dating odds are that men will chase you all the harder.
A guy prefers a girl who is generally comfortable in her own skin and unafraid to show it. It must be done modestly. Be like the Scouts though and be prepared.
Be certain to have some questions memorized. That way you will have something to ask the guy the first time you meet him. It will not only make conversation easier but it will also show him you’re interested.
When he speaks to you, be sure that you comment on everything he’s telling you. That will show him that you are truly listening. Be sure to compliment him too.
Let him know you think he looks good. Don’t be afraid to let him know how you feel either. Just don’t get too lovey-dovey because when you get too mushy too soon some guys get a bit squeamish.
If the guy asks you to give him advice about anything, do your best to deliver. Keep in mind that we’re talking about dating. Part of the fun in dating is learning, growing, and just “living in the now” as they say.
“Do you have a future with this guy? Who knows? Only time will tell.”
Stay on track. Remember one thing at a time. Be polite yet assertive and you’re right on the beam. Make him chase you forever.
Watch this video. Note that in this clip, Ryan Gosling’s character provides an example of assertiveness. Put yourself in Ryan Gosling’s place when you talk to the guy.
Be assertive. Sure, Gosling provides the male version of the concept. Nevertheless, you basically want to have the same impact on your guy.
Be a bit more gentle. But again, you want your guy to chase you. You want him to prove himself to you.
A mysterious woman is an interesting woman
Spoiler Alerts. You’ve seen them in reviews of new movies. People hate knowing the end of the movie ahead of time. People are drawn to mysteries, not foregone conclusions or open books.
Exercise some caution. Don’t immediately open the crypt to your deepest, darkest secrets with any guy. As a woman, you naturally want more of a connection that a guy does but be careful.
But always remember that there’s much to be said for being a bit mysterious. The fact is guys like a girl who isn’t an open book. Guys generally don’t want to drown in a vomit of verbiage the first time you meet.
Maintain a certain air of mystery. Be friendly and receptive of course but don’t think you need to spill your guts about everything, You don’t. Guys prefer learning about you a little bit at a time.
In other words, keep it simple. You simply cannot overwhelm guys with big questions and all your emotions. If you really like the guy, you will have lots of time to both tell him and show him.
You are an onion. Slowly peel yourself down layer by layer. With each new layer, you will get better and better.
This behavior will be much more likely to inspire the guy to chase you. It’s also more likely to inspire him to continue the chase. Don’t get hung up on why this is. As they say in those sneaker ads, just do it.
How to Make Him Chase You After You Slept With Him
Hold off on the sex
Men are walking hormone factories, they say. Still, that doesn’t mean that somewhere in their minds they do not value a woman that might make him wait a bit before engaging in the horizontal hokey-pokey. Indeed, back in the old days, as your grandma might say, a gal who would have sex with a guy before the third date was considered to be “easy” or a slut.
Don’t kid yourself. “Slut-shaming” as they label it today, has a long history. It’s still ingrained in our roots too.
Yes, a guy likes a girl who has the confidence required to get him to pursue her. But be careful. Just because a man wants you to be confident and assertive does not mean you have to immediately do the deed with him.
You want to hook him. But do so by being subtle. Be sexually suggestive but don’t overdo it.
Let him know you like him subtly. Brush his arm. Hold his hand or even hug him. Don’t hop right into his bed. That can actually have a negative impact on your chances with the right guy.
The truth is that the more you tell the man “no”, the more he will really want you. In other words, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Just be sure that you open up enough to tell him why you are not yet ready to go all the way.
That move will up the value of your stock. He will become more focused on chasing you because he will then understand that you are the prize.
Your appearance and how you present yourself is important
It’s not about judging a book by its cover. It’s about making the effort to look good. It means quite a lot.
Whether you’re going out to catch a movie or just meeting for coffee, be sure to look your best. It’s important. You may think of yourself as just having average looks but that doesn’t matter.
The point is when you take the time and energy to make sure that you look your best it has significant results. We all feel good when we look our best. Plus, it shows the guy you made an effort for him.
Want to throw in a bonus? Wear a nice scent too. There’s something about smelling nice that makes any girl more sexually alluring.
Do you want the guy to chase you? Do you want to keep him interested and close? Guys are visual so take care of your appearance.
Get into his head
Theoretically, if you want to learn how to make a specific guy chase you, you need to get inside his head. Yes, we know. That’s sometimes easier said than done.
So – how to get your boyfriend to chase you and appreciate you more?
Men don’t approach dating like women do. They’re different. The sooner you realize and accept that fact, the better off you’ll be.
How to Get a Guy to Chase You After You Chased Him
Stop chasing him, sister!
Historically, men hunt. Traditionally, guys love the hunt. But if you are going to surrender to the guy before the game even starts, he will quickly lose interest.
In other words, how can you expect any guy to chase you if you are already obviously chasing him? The fact is the guy won’t even have enough room to chase you if you’re always after him.
Give him space for the chase. Give him a little time too. Patience is a virtue. Trust that it’ll happen.
You honestly don’t have a lot of choices if you want to be the prey. (Obviously, you do want to be the prey or you wouldn’t be reading this.) It’s that simple.
Focus on your inner happiness
It’s true. You can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself. When you are truly happy with yourself both inside and out, everyone around you can tell.
You become a natural magnet for a guy. It’s really a win-win situation because guys will search high and low for a girl who is happy with who she is. Think of the things that make you happy and do those things. That will also inspire a man to chase you.
Learn the art of flirting
Flirting with a guy shows a guy that you are interested in him but you are not willing to get all crazy about it. When you flirt you send out a modern-day smoke signal.
Just be sure he thinks that he holds all the cards. You do not want to lead the way here. That would be counterproductive to the goal to put it nicely. So flirt a little and if he flirts back you know the stage is now set.
If you flirt with him and he doesn’t flirt back at all, then he is either clueless about flirting or He’s not interested. That’s OK.
Now at least you know where you stand. Put on your big girl panties and move on. Either move on to another guy or another approach.
Make sure he knows there’s competition out there
Guys are very competitive. So be sure to let the guy you want to chase you know that there are other guys in the picture or they could just casually coast.
Be certain to make it clear that he isn’t the only guy in your life. After all, there’s nothing wrong with a little friendly competition. If he is unwilling to step up to the plate and try to hit a home run, then he does not deserve you, does he?
Show him what he’s missing
Studies reveal that when you are searching for a suitable mate and want a guy to chase you, it is essential that you show the guy in question just what he’s missing. Need an example?
Well, if your guy has no self-confidence, it’s important that you show him that you have confidence. This will trigger something inside him. That confidence will cause him to be subconsciously drawn to you.
Wear the color red
Research reveals that women who wear red are nigh irresistible. Apparently, guys are naturally attracted to the color red. So if you want the guy to chase you make red the main color in your wardrobe.
Warm dates are terrific
What does this mean? Studies indicate that guys holding a warm beverage are themselves more warm, happy and open in comparison to guys holding cold beverages. Warm beverages equate to warm personalities.
Some believe this is also true of women holding warm beverages. Warm, welcoming personalities are just what guys are looking for when they take up the chase.
The closer, the better
Most folks have little interest in long-distance relationships and for good reason. If you want to get close to a guy, he needs to be around. Additionally, if you want a guy to chase you, then you should be close to him.
Mutual friends are important
Mutual friends increase your chances of your potential pairing being successful. A guy is more likely to chase you if he knows and likes the people who you know.
The Bottom Line
Relationships can be a challenge. Dating, however, can be even worse. Some people think that when it comes to the subject of getting a guy to chase you, there are no easy answers.
Nevertheless, unless your ultimate goal in life is to be the old maid “cat lady” who ends up living with a houseful of stray cats, you have to keep trying. Use the aforementioned tips, tricks, and strategies and he will not only chase you he might even really fall for you. To use a sports metaphor (like guys often do) the ball is in your court.
Jason Fladien is an author and relationship coach living in Toronto.
He used to struggle so much in his own love life that he decided to learn everything there is to achieve such level of understanding at which he’d not only be able to completely change his life but also help others to change theirs.
Now he’s on a mission to help others achieve effortless and happy relationships as he believes that relationships are the most important thing in life.