Ex Didn’t Want to Commit? How to Make Him Want You After a Breakup.
Why is it so difficult to make your ex commit? And do guys come back after they dump you?
The idea of commitment and moving forward together was too much for him. You thought you shared the same goals for love, family and life. You were taken back by his change of heart, and you now find yourself single again. You’ve started picking apart your side of the relationship, and you’ve come close to blaming yourself.
No matter the reasons your ex left for reasons beyond your control. With that in mind, you should focus more than ever on the things you love (other than your ex) and on your personal goals. No ex will change their commitment mindset if their former partner doesn’t continue to do what’s best for them as an individual.
Follow These Ten Steps to Make Ex Commit After a Breakup
1. Work on A Better You by Making A List of Goals
While this is a general goal to make and step to take, a complete grasp of how to better yourself will make the following steps easier. If your ex won’t commit, you are not to sit around and focus on changes they need to make. You will only get bogged down, and the personal goals you have take a backseat.
Create a list of everything you want to accomplish during this time. Grab a planner or diary to jot down ideas and to check in on progress toward personal goals. Make the most of new found free time by scheduling activities that will keep you busy and keep you worry-free.
There all kinds of resources for therapy that help with break-ups. You can visit with a psychologist, therapist, social worker or minister. You can also turn to online self-help sites. Sites and specialists exist that focus specifically on relationships.
3. Become A Better Person And A Better Communicator through Exercise and Diet
Commit to exercise and a healthy diet during breakups. Don’t give way to unhealthy choices aimed at coping with the pain and process. Not only is this bad for your health, but your ex will think you have lost control of your life. If your life has become worse during the breakup, an ex is likely not going to commit.
Healthy eating and daily exercise of at least thirty minutes will help you stay in shape physically and emotionally. A strong mind and body present a strong person. It changes your thinking.
Because especially when you are not feeling well, you might be using dangerous words and phrases that affect your man much more than you might realize. (Most women do this without even knowing it, and accidentally kill their man’s attraction towards them)
The good news is, you can make a simple shift in your thinking that can bring a level of attraction, love, and security to your relationships that you never imagined was possible!
4. Facilitate Stronger Friendships and Support Systems
Your friends may have taken a back seat during the relationship, or they may have just not been involved as much with your life. Let them know why you were absent and ask them to be more involved.
Sometimes you may need to apologize to friends for your emphasis on your ex and not them. Be humble and do this if needed. You will know. If friends refuse to return messages and calls, then an apology is likely warranted.
Make suggestions to hang out and catch up. Just be sure not to make everything about the breakup. Make time with friends about what you and your friends enjoy. If your repeated attempts to reconnect with friends go without success, then take the efforts to make new friends. Don’t beat yourself up about who is and who is not in your life.
5. Find Time for Family, Honest Feedback and Personal Growth
Your family is your rock, and they have shown you over the years what true commitment means. When an ex won’t commit, it is best to be around people that understand your take on commitment. Who can do this more than your family?
Make time for those that commit to you and that share your views about commitment. Family members are good to have around for many reasons. We already mentioned that they know your needs and goals, but they also know how to identify times when you might not be doing your best. If they offer feedback or advice, do not fight back. Value the input of those that value you.
6. Work More and Achieve More with Your Career
While we don’t suggest that you burn yourself out, we do suggest that you find more value in your work during break-up transitions. Take the extra time you now have to focus on work skills that you’ve been wanting to learn. Look for networking opportunities at night that coincide with your career field.
You might be constantly thinking about things like my ex didn’t want to commit, does the dumper come back, etc. etc… But don’t let your break-up bog you down at work. In no way should you try to use your breakup as an excuse for under-performing at work.
We all go through trials. Show yourself and everyone else how strong you really are. Be sure to take this time to prove that you and your work will only get better, even during a breakup.
7. Volunteer to Meet People and Make An Impact
The team at Mend has all kinds of great suggestions to help you through a breakup and when dealing with non-committal exes. One of the suggestions they offer is volunteering.
8. Considering Dating to Build Confidence and Connections
You have given your ex time, and he still will not commit. As much as you think you might be hurting your chances for reconciliation, sometimes dating other people helps.
We know this can be a painful decision to make, but you are not to put too much pressure on it. You can always gracefully exit any situation. The same goes for dates.
There are many benefits to dating other people. Your ex will see that it’s not about their needs. If your ex fails to return, you may have now found a new friend or future partner.
We recommend removing pressure dates as much as possible. Any time you start dating after breakups begin with grabbing cocktails or coffee. Formal situations like going to dinner might be too much initial pressure for you.
9. Remain in Control by Not Reaching Out to Your Ex
From the moment he ran away from the idea of commitment and the relationship ended, everyone has told you not to reach out to him. Their advice is indeed good advice ( you might want to read our article on how to apply the no contact rule). Do not make efforts to reach out to your ex.
You believe that if you can get them to open up, the commitment issues will cease. You think the relationship will come back together. Let them take the time needed to figure out what makes them uncomfortable about commitment. Give them space to decide if they want to get back together with you.
10. If He Returns to the Relationship, Move Slowly
Sometimes exes do come back, and every now and then relationships do last the second time around. If your ex returns and commits to goals you have for your relationship, you must be certain not to force everything you want right away. The two of you discussed your goals, and he committed. You are now back together. Give him and the relationship some time to see how this goes.
When couples get back together, they must be careful not to rush things. You need to make sure over time that your boyfriend is aligning with commitment goals, and you need to make sure that time apart didn’t cause you two to take on other goals not conducive for round two of your relationship.
You will know if things are not moving along as they should. You know how to identify issues. Be sure that during this process you incorporate strategies, skills and activities that take the pressure off of your partner, you and your relationship.
The ten steps above are designed to help you deal with the break-up and to make your ex commit. Even if you and your ex don’t get back together, you will now be an even better person.
But if you really want your ex to commit this time or you just never want to go through such situation again, you should understand this:
There is a missing link in nearly every relationship.
Is it sex? Communication? Romantic Dates?
All these things are important, but a breakthrough new video reveals the surprising factor that can make ALL the difference in a relationship and few, if any women (or men) are even aware of it!
The key is understanding men on a deep emotional level, and how the subtle things you say to a man affect him much more than you might think.
If you’re frustrated with your man going cold, losing interest, or pulling away, then this video is a must-watch:
Jason Fladien is an author and relationship coach living in Toronto.
He used to struggle so much in his own love life that he decided to learn everything there is to achieve such level of understanding at which he’d not only be able to completely change his life but also help others to change theirs.
Now he’s on a mission to help others achieve effortless and happy relationships as he believes that relationships are the most important thing in life.
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