Secret (Sometimes Obvious) Signs He Wants You Back But Is Scared

First of all – the chances that he still loves you to a certain point are high.

If you were together longer than a couple of months, he almost certainly still does have feelings for you. That’s just a fact. The only question is – are those feelings strong enough that he actually wants you back?

trying to get my ex back to me

***What you seek is seeking you*** ∼ Rumi


Well, high chances are, your boyfriend left you – otherwise, you wouldn’t be here, right? You may be going through a rough patch in your dating life because of the breakup.

Worst of all, you might still be wondering whether your ex-boyfriend still has feelings for you. Don’t worry, in as much as you may be feeling like it is the end of the world, trust me, there are several signs you may check to get the closure you so much need now.

So, how can you know whether he still loves you or not?

Your ex-boyfriend may have broken up with you, but he could still have feelings for you.

Most of the time, men are scared to ask their exes back into their lives. This is because men are usually quite insecure and egoistic hence would not dare lower their egos by asking their exes out with the risk of being rejected. This could be the case with your ex.

Maybe he is just scared of approaching you for fear of rejection. After all, who wants to be rejected?


“Are you saying that he may want to get back but will never act because he is scared? Really?”

“Yes. It may be up to you to help him get you back. Counterintuitive? It’s more common than you think.”


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Fear of rejection plays a huge role. Most probably much bigger than you think


Ok, but how should I know the difference between him not acting because he’s scared and him not acting because he’s not interested anymore? What are the signs my ex still has feelings for me?


Good question. Let’s get into it.

Secret sign 1: He gets closer to your mutual friends

One of the signs to check to confirm that your ex still wants you back, but is otherwise scared to pose the question, is that he talks to your mutual friends about you.

This is an important clue that he might want you back. He may not say it, but you will know that he does anyway, just by the fact that he tries to be closer to your friends than he was before. He may even ask them about your welfare and personal life.

Secret sign 2: He relieves memories

Your ex may repetitively try to relieve the good times the two of you had together when the grass was still green.

This may hint that he wants you back but doesn’t want to say it out loud because he might be scared of being rejected. Or he wants to play it cool…

He holds on to most of the memories the two of you had as if they were part of his lie. You may notice this just by analyzing how enthusiastic he describes things you did together in the past.

Secret sign 3: He contacts you

Not exactly a secret, right? But bear with us.

The minute your ex gets over you, he will not bother contacting you unless necessary. Or unless he’s applying the no-contact rule (= he wants you back).

If he still texts and calls you, that man wants you back! He may only be scared of asking you out because of, of course, surprise, surprise, the fear of rejection.

You may notice that he tries hard to talk to you, even following on social media platforms just to get as much talk with you as possible. If he does this, you should probably let him in gradually, after being sure that he means well for you in the end.

Secret sign 4: He changes bad habits

Girl, if you notice that your ex suddenly has all the good habits you always wanted him to have; he wants you back. Most probably.

He is only trying to impress you by taking up the behaviors you always asked him to have. If he used to smoke but suddenly stops, it is probably either that he had stopped so that he has an easy time getting you back, or he is just pretending for a while until you are back together.


So, is he over me for good? How do I know my ex still has feelings for me?

Your ex may act as if he is over you, but chances are, he is only…. acting.

If you were in a serious relationship with him, he probably still has strong feelings for you – considering that you broke up recently (not years ago).

If he really loved you, there is no possibility that he has moved on that fast. Well, even if he does not love you, he almost certainly at least still likes you. In that case, you still have the chance of getting back with him. So, how do you know that he still loves, or likes you, at least?

Sign 1: Negative emotions

However paradoxical, this may sound, if he still has feelings for you, he will probably deny that he does. Instead of showing positive emotions of love and affection, he will mostly exude the negative opposites of hatred and even anger.

Do not take this literally. He is probably acting that way because he is hurt.

The fact that he is hurt consequently means that he still loves you. If not, he would not have the time to hold on to such emotions because of someone of whom he could easily let go. The other possibility could be that you did not meet his expectations, making them feel disappointed in you and even in themselves for trusting you.

Sign 2: Awkward behaviours

Your ex may exhibit some weird behaviours during your breakup, and some of these behaviours may prove that he still has feelings for you.

For instance, they may act cold one minute and then romantic the next minute.

He may avoid you for weeks on end, and then randomly starts flooding your phone with text messages and calls.

These behaviours show that he still thinks about you. He still loves you and that is why he is trying to act cold, only to come to his senses and start being sweet once more. If your ex behaves this way, believe you me that man is still into you!

Sign 3: Breaking the no contact rule

You and your ex may be under the no-contact rule, maybe coincidentally at the same time.

He may know that you are following this rule but still tries to reach you anyway. It does not matter whether he is also following this rule or not. If he knows that one or both of you are following the no- contact rule, he should not be trying to reach out anyway. This proves that he still thinks about you.

Sign 4: Texting and calling when drunk

Most exes fall under this category. Your man may call or text you several times claiming to be drunk. This is a number one proof that he is still into you.

Otherwise, he would not be thinking of you in his most unstable state. You have probably been on his mind for a while so that his brain automatically thinks of you even when he is out of his senses. You should, however, remain steadfast and not allow yourself to fall into the trap of equating his emotions because he will probably ask if you still love him.

Ignore such inquiries and avoid him altogether if possible.

Sign 5: Immature competition

If he constantly tries to make you feel jealous, voila, he’s still into you!

He may do this by being overly flirtatious with other girls when you are around or doing this that obviously would make you jealous.

For instance, he may start posting on social networks how he has moved on. He might start posting pictures with other women to make you feel hurt. This may be a very immature and inappropriate manner of approaching post-breakup, but it proves that he still loves you anyway.

Do not try to understand everything he posts and says. He is only trying to hurt you so that he may be seen as the winner after your breakup.

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socially awkward behavior around women

What should I do if he still is into me?

Be cautious

Never, and I repeat, NEVER fall into the trap of drunk texting and calling.

Your ex may do these to trap you so that they know whether he still stands a chance with you.

Do not respond to his inquiries of whether you still love them blah blah blah. He probably does not have the guts to face you when sober, hence takes advantage of being drunk to get information from you. You should aim to give him a very short response, like telling him to talk later when he is in a more stable condition.


Move on with your life. Seriously.

In as much as you may want your ex back so bad, you need to better your life as well.

Improve your life so that by the time he is coming back, he finds a better version of yourself. Put into action the no-contact rule to increase your chances of getting back together. Take care of yourself. Read books, go out with your friends, call your aunt you haven’t seen since childhood… just do something.

This is the time to do some of the things you hardly had time to do when dating your ex. Find new hobbies and enjoy every moment of your life. Your ex will be glad to meet a new you in no time!


Give him space. Give him the time to miss you.

The most important thing you should remember to do is to give your ex some space.

Give him time to get over the negative emotions before contacting him. Give him the time to miss you.

Most of all let him be the one to contact you because you might do so either before he may have cooled down or you may take too long to reach out to him. No words you say to him will heal him at the onset of the breakup. All he needs is time because surely, time does heal!


Follow the no-contact rule strictly

It might seem impossible, but it is possible to completely avoid your ex during the no-contact period.

The rule limits your communication with your ex for a certain amount of time so that in the end, it is easier to tell where your relationship is headed. Your ex will probably try to reach you during this time because he may not know that you are applying the rule. He may as well contact you because he misses you.

Do not fall into the temptation of contacting him back, you should strictly avoid communication for better results. Otherwise, you may have wasted time trying to avoid your ex, only to act desperate eventually.


Chill. Stay calm. Breathe.

Your ex may develop some weird behavior following your breakup.

He may become toxic altogether. All you need to do during this time is to stay calm. Avoid him whenever possible. Stay away from the negative energy with which he might try to sully your integrity.

Be a woman with class. Do not act desperate at any occasion. Do not respond to their cold messages.

One important tip is to react to them as they act towards you. When they act cold, do the same. Do not be the nagging ex that complains every time he does not text or call.


Final thoughts

In the case that your man still shows some feelings for you and you want him back, go for it. Grab the opportunity.

On the other hand, however, breaking up with someone is not the end of the world. Just as Drake says, it is only the end of a world. If you realize that your ex has completely gotten over you, get over him as well. He was only a tiny bit of your world, not the whole of it.


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