It almost always starts with that sinking feeling in your stomach. You get that text or that phone call where your significant other, who’s usually as kind as kind can be, is suddenly aloof and distant.
You usually know what they’re going to say before they even open their mouth to say it or before your eyes can even make sense of the words on your phone screen. One recently dumped woman shared the story of knowing she was being dumped by the mere length of a text she received from the man she’d been seeing for three months.
“I knew what it was before I even read any of the words,” she shared glumly. “He was usually all short sentences and emojis. When I saw this big paragraph appear on my phone, I knew what it was. I didn’t even have to read it.”
Nobody wants to get dumped. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world. If we were logical beings, our reaction to getting dumped would be to declare our ex a loser who doesn’t know what they’re missing out on and to move on with our lives.
But we’re not logical beings. Even though our ex has just ripped our heart out of our chest, we still tend to maintain hope that this all might be temporary and that they might wise up and realize what a mistake they’ve made the next day.
The Truth About Getting Dumped
Here’s the truth about getting dumped. Sometimes it’s best to accept that you’ve been kicked to the curb and to start looking for better prospects. However, there are always situations where a person realizes that they made a terrible mistake in dumping their significant other.
In those latter scenarios, there are absolutely ways to detect whether or not your ex wants to come back and little tricks that help to move the process along.
If you’ve been dumped, keep reading. This guide will tell you the signs to look out for and what you can do to move the process along if it looks like your ex will eventually come back to you.
Gut Feeling Ex Will Come Back
How Do I Know If An Ex Will Come Back? (Hint: The Answer’s Your Gut)
We don’t give intuition the credit it deserves. According to business expert Bruce Kasanoff, “intuition is the highest form of intelligence.” Kasanoff might be talking about using intuition in business decisions, but the same applies for one’s personal life as well. When it comes to friends, lovers and significant others, your gut is the best tool you have in weeding out who’s right and who’s wrong for you.
This is why it’s so absolutely crucial that you learn how to become mindful and how to truly listen to what your gut is telling you. In many situations, the best way to determine whether or not your ex is going to eventually come back to you is by asking yourself that question and allowing your gut to answer honestly.
However, it can be difficult to be honest with yourself when you’re in the throws of heartbreak, anguish and sadness. Indeed, it’s hard to have an honest conversation with yourself when you’ve had two glasses of wine, a pint of ice cream and have been playing Taylor Swift’s saddest songs on a continuous loop for the past five hours.
Ultimately, your gut is going to be the entity that answers the question as to whether or not your ex will regret their decision to end things and return to you. However, chances are you’re not thinking clearly right now. To help you have an honest conversation with yourself, here are some signs you need to consider. So what are the signs your ex will eventually come back?
The Signs. Will Your Ex Come Back?
In case you haven’t noticed, men and women are pretty different from one another. This is especially true in how both genders behave in romantic relationships. Since male behavior and female behavior are markedly different from one another, we’ve divided this portion in two.
Signs Your Ex Girlfriend Will Eventually Come Back
It’s hard out here for a fella these days! Thanks to the rise of social media and dating apps, it seems like women are bombarded with options when it comes to romantic partners. Because of this, more and more women are taking the initiative to end relationships if they’re not happy. Essentially, it’s not the 1950s anymore. This is great for female empowerment, but not so great for the men that these women leave broken hearted.
Why Do Women Dump Their Ex-Boyfriends? And How Often Do Ex Girlfriends Come Back?
Of course, the list of why women dump their boyfriends is infinite, as every individual situation is different. However, there are some common reasons why the fairer sex tends to call it quits.
- She feels more accomplished than her partner. Despite being more empowered than ever before, most women still want to feel like they’re with a man who’s more accomplished than they are
- She feels more mature than him. Women mature faster than men. In younger relationships, a woman will often walk away if she feels like her man isn’t on her level
- She can’t see him as the father to her children. Even career-oriented gals still keep their future families in mind when choosing a partner. If she doesn’t think he has what it takes to be a good dad, she won’t want to waste time with him
- She just doesn’t feel a spark. Women are emotional creatures. They tend to be more keenly aware of their own instincts and listen to their intuitive senses more than their male counterparts do. If she doesn’t feel that illusive spark, chances are she’ll walk out the door
- She’s overwhelmed and scared. Sometimes women walk away because it all feels like too much, too soon. A lot of men sadly treat women like dirt. If a woman meets a guy who treats her like a queen, the sudden admiration can be scary after a lifetime of being mistreated
- He’s a dirtbag and she’s wised up to his ways. If a woman dumps a man, sometimes the man had it coming. If a woman has been tolerating bad behavior, don’t be surprised if she one day wakes up and realizes her own value and worth
Now that you know why she may have left, let’s look at some of the telltale signs that she might come back.
Signs She Will Come Back To Me
Not every breakup is forever. Women might be the fairer sex, but they can make mistakes just like men can. Here are some of the classic signs that your ex-girlfriend might want to rekindle the spark you once had.
- She didn’t do a “purge.” When women end things in relationships, they tend to “purge” their ex from all forms of social media. If you can still plainly see your ex-girlfriend’s accounts, it’s a good sign
- She keeps contacting you. Most women get enough unwanted male attention. They’re never going to actively initiate conversation with a man they don’t care about and don’t want to hear from
- Her social media posts are moody and forlorn. If her posts have gone from jokes and cutesy status updates to Lana Del Rey lyrics and sad emojis, it’s a sign that she’s not happy
- Alternatively, her social media posts are too much. When a girl is sad about a breakup, she often will go out of her way to project a fake image on social media. If she’s suddenly trying to project a larger-than-life image of herself, it might be a sign that she’s overcompensating because she’s hurting
- She’s jealous. If you post a picture of yourself on the town with another lady and your ex immediately messages you demanding to know who the new girl is, it’s a huge sign that she loathes the idea of you being with another woman
- She finds excuses to see you. Suddenly she needs to come to your place to get a single hair elastic. She never cared about sports, but suddenly she’s at the sports bar you and your buddies frequent because she “just wants to watch the game.” If she’s finding excuses to see you, it means she’s not over you
According to Elite Daily, you should also be wary of any breakup that occurred while your ex-girlfriend was experiencing a period of tragedy or extreme stress. If she dumped you in the wake of her father dying suddenly, there’s a significant chance that she wasn’t thinking clearly and is likely to come back.
Signs Your Ex Boyfriend Will Eventually Come Back
Ladies, let’s face it. If men didn’t act like dogs and leave out of the blue, most female musicians wouldn’t have a career. While women often drop hints and signs that they’re going to leave someone before they actually do it, men are the kings of blindsiding their partners.
Too often, men don’t give women the answers they so desperately want and need during a breakup. To help you decode why Mr. Right might have decided to morph into Mr. Wrong almost overnight, here are some of the most common reasons why men walk out the door.
- He’s just not feeling the relationship. When a woman has doubts about a relationship, she will often stick around to see if maybe she can change her partner and make it work. However, men take a far more cut and dry approach. If a man thinks there’s a problem, he’s not going to wait around to see if she’ll change. Furthermore, sometimes men just bail because they don’t think the spark is there
- He doesn’t think he can fit you into his life. Men think practically. If he’s busy with work, school or other commitments, he might decide to let his partner go in order to free up time. This can be depressing for women to hear, as women tend to try to make good relationships work no matter how busy they might be
- He thinks you’re “clingy.” Men sometimes interpret acts of love and caring as a woman being “clingy.” If he thinks that you got too attached too soon, he might get spooked and bail
- He wants to play the field. It’s sad, but it’s true. Men will sometimes let a perfectly good woman go because they can’t fight the urge to go see what else is out there
- The thrill is gone. Women want stability and an emotional connection. Men want the thrill of the chase. If things become too routine, men often walk out the door in order to pursue something that they perceive as more exciting
There’s some good news that should give you peace of mind whether your ex comes back or not. According to a study published by Vice, the majority of women who experience bad breakups declare it a learning experience and eventually move on completely. In fact, many women feel a sort of gratitude for relationships that don’t work out, using these experiences to shape the women they eventually become. This theme is captured perfectly in Ariana Grande’s smash hit, “Thank U, Next.”
Alternatively, men tend to have more regretful emotions attached to their past loves. Men are more likely to identify an ex-girlfriend as “the best they ever had,” whereas women overwhelmingly save that label for their current partner. So if you find yourself angry at that great guy who dumped you years ago, know that he might be silently seething about his decision to let you go.
Hence, regardless of how things turn out with you and your partner, know that you have the upper hand merely by the virtue of being a lady. With that being said, if you’re still holding out hope for the ex-boyfriend you’re currently obsessing over, here’s the…
Signs He Will Come Back
- He’s quiet, then he’s not. In most relationships where the guy is the one who does the dumping, you can expect him to stay quiet for a month or so even if he regrets his decision. Women like to talk through their emotions, whereas men are more likely to shut down. However, if he suddenly messages you after weeks or months of no-contact, rest assured he’s been thinking about you for quite some time
- He dumped you when he was stressed. Men tend to have tunnel vision when it comes to their professional and academic obligations, whereas women know how to juggle the personal and the professional. In many situations, a man who feels overwhelmed by work will end a relationship in a bid to lighten his proverbial load. If he dumped you during a period of stress, there’s a high chance he’ll regret that decision once his workload is a little lighter
- He started dating really quickly after the relationship ended. This might seem counterintuitive, but keep reading. When a woman is ready to move on, she moves on. This is why a woman deciding not to move on is evidence to a man that she might not be over their relationship. However, it’s different for men. If a man ends a relationship and then moves on quickly, it’s a telltale sign that he’s trying to force himself to “rebound” and forget about his ex-girlfriend. Men who are happy with their decision to end a relationship tend to stay single for a few months. After all, they didn’t want to be paired up, so they’re not going to make the same mistake twice
- He never got his things back. If a man has left his belongings at your apartment and has made no attempt to retrieve them, this is a sign that he might want to keep the lines of communication open. Remember, a man isn’t comfortable messaging out of the blue to talk about his feelings. Leaving an object at your house gives him a reason in the future to call you
- You ended things like a class act. If you kept your head held high and maintained your dignity during the breakup, you might have just condemned that man to think about you nonstop after all is said and done. If a man’s final memories of you involve you behaving like a classy queen, there’s a huge chance you’re living rent-free in his head
- You’ve moved on. Men want what they can’t have. If he sees that you’ve moved on via social media, it might reignite his passion and make him question why he ever let you go. This phenomenon was best summed up in a Sex and the City episode where Carrie asked her on-again-off-again lover if he had a radar for when she was happy, since that was when he always seemed to come back into her life. Men rarely come back into women’s lives when said women are crying and missing them desperately. Instead, they tend to try to win their ex-girlfriends back when those women are happy and thriving. This should be motivation to live your best life, even if you secretly want your ex back
Signs Your Ex is Never Coming Back
Do all exes eventually come back? Of course not. Unfortunately, the answer to the question “will my ex ever come back?” isn’t always what the person asking wants to hear. To help you know when it’s time to move on, here are the signs you should look for.
Signs She Is Gone For Good
Gentlemen, it might hurt to hear it, but there are some classic signs to look out for that indicate that your ex-girlfriend is gone forever.
- You’re blocked from her social media accounts. If an internet search for your ex-girlfriend shows no results, then chances are you’ve been blocked and unfortunately this doesn’t bode well for reconciliation. If a woman blocks you, it means she wants to move on from you
- She’s radio silent. If a woman is thinking about a man, she’ll eventually reach out to him. If your ex-girlfriend has made zero attempts to reach out, it’s a good sign she’s moved on
- She’s in a committed relationship. If she’s in a serious relationship, it means she’s not thinking about you anymore. Women don’t get into serious relationships unless they truly want to pursue a future with the person
- She avoids you like the plague. If she’s skipping social events where you might be present, it’s a good sign she’s moved on. If a woman is still in love with a man, she’ll go out of her way to see him. Otherwise, she’ll avoid him like the plague
- She’s wiped every trace of your relationship away. If she’s deleted every photo of the two of you and has gotten rid of all the gifts you ever gave her, it’s a sign that she wants you gone for good
Signs He Will Never Come Back And Is Gone For Good
Just because you’re a prize doesn’t mean that every man will recognize your worth. To help keep you from obsessing and stressing over a guy who’s already forgotten that you exist, here are the signs that he’s gone for good.
- He got his stuff back. Remember, men will occasionally leave things with you as a ploy to have a reason to see you again should the urge ever strike them. Once he’s gotten all of his belongings, it means he has zero interest in keeping the lines of communication open.
- He’s dating someone after a long break. When a man moves on quickly, it’s often a rebound. However, if he took a few months before seeing someone, it might be something more serious. If he’s moved on after a long period of being single, it means he’s truly over you
- He’s a jerk in text messages. If you check in with him to be friendly and he responds rudely, it means he’s trying to get rid of you. Yes, he’s doing it in the most immature way possible, but it’s still his goal
- He doesn’t contact you at all. Women will sometimes check in with ex-boyfriends even if they don’t necessarily want to get back together. However, if a man makes absolutely no attempt to see how you are, he’s over the relationship completely
What If My Ex Never Comes Back?
Even if you’re holding out hope that your ex might return, try saying these words out loud: “My ex is never coming back.”
If you’re in the depths of despair after being dumped, those words might sting. But you also might feel an odd sense of peace. Contemplating the unfinished and the unresolved leads to anxiety. However, accepting the sad things we can’t change brings us peace, even if we’re still unhappy about what’s transpired.
According to the Huffington Post, the secret to moving on from a breakup is to allow yourself to grieve, then do new things and date new people. Ultimately, you should be forcing yourself to get back out there and to make the most of your life regardless of whether or not you want your ex back. In many situations, your ex may indeed come back to you eventually, but when they finally reach out you very well may have moved on and decline their request to reconcile.
It’s good to look back at a relationship thoughtfully and to contemplate whether or not there might be hope that the two of you could someday end up together after all. But above all else, don’t allow yourself to dwell in misery after you’ve been dumped. Regardless of what the future might hold, now is the time to meet new people, try new things and to take the best care of yourself that you possibly can.