So, you have been dumped. It might feel like it’s the end of your life. No one can deny that losing at a relationship is hard.
But what if you still believe that you are “in love” with her or him? Don’t despair, all hope is not lost. After all, didn’t your ex fall for you and love you before? Well then, it may not too late to try again.
Perhaps you saw that your ex is being affectionate with someone else in a public setting. That is rough and hard to take. But remember, it’s probably just a rebound relationship. This new relationship your ex is in could be filling the gap that was left when the two of you split up. It’s a known fact that most rebound relationships are not long lasting. The usual rebound relationship only lasts three to five weeks, and then fizzles out within two months. This leaves the door open for you to rekindle the flame and slowly rebuild your relationship.
Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or Cupid might be just fantasies and fairy tales, but your love was real, right? Then it is worth leaving the door open to the possibility that your ex could be in your life again. You can have sex with many partners, but it is never as satisfying as “making love” to the one you are truly in love with, and who is in love with you. If that is what you had with your ex, then it’s worth the risk to try again.
“The art of love … is largely the art of persistence.” – Dr. Albert Ellis
Every couple’s story is unique: Can you remember what brought you together in the first place? Maybe you both came from backgrounds full of pain and were surprised to be loved. How did that person make feel? Did they make you feel whole and complete?
So what does remembering your own love story have to do with today?
Recalling and thinking on these things can give you clues about the strengths and weaknesses that were in your relationship. It will help point you in the right direction to mend and grow from all past wrongs and hurts. The magic that you created detail by detail is not lost. You did it in the past so have faith that it can happen again.
If You are Wondering, “Should I Call My Ex?”
“How can I open the door of communication with my ex?” you ask. Don’t over-think it. Keep calm and steady with your words and actions. Try not to bad-mouth your ex to others or belittle their “new” relationship to mutual friends. Positive actions and words will be your friend during this time. After a couple of months have gone by, open the door with a friendly text or email just to see how they are doing. Show genuine concern. Once the dialogue is open again, you might try a phone call. Asking leading questions and acting on the answers might bring you back to the beginning. For instance, one question could be, “What is your fondest memory from when we were dating?” Then try to act on your ex’s response.
How to Talk to Your Ex? – Renew Your Friendship
Love is a friendship with flame. Open up to be their friend again and see if you can rekindle the fire that was there before.
Using love and friendship as your base in any relationship can only result in positive results. Although sex is sometimes the driving force for romance, a long lasting and meaningful relationship will not survive on sex alone. It must be based on mutual respect, tolerance, forgiveness, friendship and, of course, love.
Hopefully, you will continue to seek true love and not be warped into behaving like the American pop song, “Ex’s and Oh’s” by Elle King, whose lyrics say, “My ex’s, they haunt me ….they always want to come, but they never want to leave.” As the old saying goes, be careful what you wish for because it might come true. Do you really want to reignite that love affair? Give careful thought to this question, and if your answer is still yes, then go for it, slow and steady, and with all your heart.
Will Your Ex Come Back After Dating Others?
So back to the original question, “Do exes ever come back after dating others?” the answer is yes, it’s possible. You do your part by opening up the door of communication, friendship and forgiveness, along with tactfulness, consideration and patience. And to quote an old song by England Dan and John Ford Coley, “Love is the answer!”
We understand it is not easy. If you feel like you need some more advice – and above all, more personalized and in-real-life-applicable advice, watch this short video. We promise you will not regret it.
If you want to learn how to get your ex back, click here.
Jason Fladien is an author and relationship coach living in Toronto.
He used to struggle so much in his own love life that he decided to learn everything there is to achieve such level of understanding at which he’d not only be able to completely change his life but also help others to change theirs.
Now he’s on a mission to help others achieve effortless and happy relationships as he believes that relationships are the most important thing in life.