Exactly What to Do After the 30 Day No Contact Rule to Get Her Or Him Back

***Because of great love, one is courageous.*** ∼ Lao Tzu

Just like relationships, no two breakups are alike. It is for this reason that many might dispute the effectiveness of the 30-day no-contact rule.

Some even claim that the no-contact rule is cruel and torture-some. Well… But it works!

This rule is considered a universal concept that has been widely accepted as a technique for getting back an ex. Actually, it is a smooth way of getting back an ex without much hustle.

Whatever the case, this rule has been used effectively by millions of individuals around the world. It works like nothing else and it is one of the surest ways of winning back an ex.

So, what is the no-contact rule? 

Simply put, this is a technique for getting back an ex after a breakup. It is also useful in getting over an abusive ex.

In unprofessional terms, it is a systematic response to being dumped.

This rule only applies to the partner who did not initiate the breakup. The modern version of this rule, termed radio silence, was developed in France to eliminate the unnecessary elements of the original no-contact rule. This was to ensure that individuals using this rule can shift the balance of power in their favor following a breakup.

How to get your ex back after no contact?

Up until now, you may be asking yourself the explanation behind the 30-day no-contact rule psychology. This can be explained in different aspects. The first aim of this rule is to make your ex miss you. It involves post-breakup etiquette aimed at beckoning the emotional response of an ex.

The tip of the iceberg is that in most cases if you engage in this rule, your ex will in no time have a strong longing for you. And they often end up becoming desperate to get back together.

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Is it the easiest thing in the world? Nope. It takes some nerve. But it pays off.

Planning is everything (but a plan is nothing without action)

Since you are here, your girlfriend or boyfriend may have broken up with you due to various reasons. Whatever their reason was, you now have the upper hand in the direction of your relationship. It is for this reason that you may want to follow this step-by-step process to get your ex back.

In the case that you got dumped, but you still want them back. Remember – if you get caught up in emotional responses and break the no contact rule, you will have to start the 30-day no-contact period all over again.

Step 1: Take a step back

During the no contact period, you want to make sure not to make any contact with your ex in whatever circumstance. You should strictly not contact your ex for 30 days straight following your breakup. This is as difficult as it seems, needless to say.

You may have grown an attachment to your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend so much so that restricting yourself from talking to them may seem impossible. Do not fret. If you are motivated to get them back, you will get through this with little strain. Hold fast.

Step 2: Let your ex breathe

During this time, you need to give the person who broke up with you enough time to face their decision to dump you.

They may end up feeling sorry and regretful once they come to realize how valuable you were in their lives. They may also start feeling lonely being single. Let them see that the grass is not greener on the other side as they thought!

Step 3: Make it about yourself

You need to not only use the no contact rule to get an ex back but also to work on yourself. Try to analyze what went wrong in your previous relationship and if you were the cause of the breakup.

This will help you build a better relationship if you get back with your ex, or be a good partner in your future relationships in case your ex does not come back. Do you have a habit that your ex could not tolerate? How can you improve on yourself and your personality?

Let the no-contact rule help you grow as an individual as well. This is the time to rebuild your self-esteem and confidence. Let your ex see that you have changed for the better. I know it sounds cliche but it is true.

Step 4: Plan for a communication strategy

Plan on how you want to establish communication with your ex. Make sure to stay positive and let your ex see that you have changed for the better.

Let them see through how you talk that you are not desperate and that you can be independent of them. Plan to keep your communication precise and train yourself never to react to what your ex says.

Step 5: Re-establish communication

Once the 30-day period is over, consider establishing communication with your ex. Ensure that it is after 30 days and not less.

Keep in mind that this is a tested technique and therefore breaking it will not make it effective. If you follow every step diligently, you will maximize your chances of reaping great results in getting your ex back. You will not only make them want you back but also give them a reason to value you more.

As you go about this period, do not let yourself fall into the trap of texting them back whenever they text you. Do not be tempted to make contact, no matter what. This will make them miss you desperately.

Step 6: Bonus step

Don’t be needy. Just don’t. I know it’s easy to say, but try to accept the situation for what it is. You want them back but you actually don’t NEED them to go on with your life. You might think you do, but the truth is you don’t. You can breathe and live without them, period.

When you fully accept this concept, you get back control. And confidence. Confidence is the number one attraction builder. Neediness is the number one attraction killer. Your choice.

Cons of the no-contact rule

Before you engage in this step-by-step activity, you may need to consider a few things. These are more of prerequisites of the no-contact rule. There are certain questions you may need to ask yourself before opting for this technique.

First, how emotionally stable is your ex? You may want to be sure that your ex is not emotionally fragile. You may know this by analyzing how they respond to disappointments.

Does your ex have violent tendencies? If they have been violent to you in the past, then they may be violent in the future. You may, therefore, want to tread carefully while engaging in this technique. You may want to be sure they no longer have your house keys if they did and that you keep a safe distance from them.

This will ensure that they do not attack nor harass you in their desperation to get you back. On the other hand though, if your ex had violent tendencies, is it even worth it to you (just in case you wanted to know my opinion, I’d say no)?

The other question you may need to ask is how much your ex is into you. In the case that you are sure that your ex is still in love with you, then you may proceed with this rule. 

If you are however unsure of this fact, then you may want to opt for another technique to get them back. This is so because you may end up pushing your ex further away if they are no longer into you.

Pros of the no-contact rule

The no-contact rule is one of the surest ways of getting back an ex, period.

Individuals who choose this technique keep a safe distance from their exes yet at the same time try to get them back without a sweat. All you have to do is avoid your ex and watch them come back to you.

Easier said than done, yes. But what you do here is basically a service to not only you but to your ex. You are giving them the opportunity to realize how much they miss you.

If your ex comes back to you, then you will be sure that they really love you. That should be why they came back to you in the first place. And if they don’t love you anymore, they will simply be put off by your not paying attention to them and slither away.

Did you know you can use a simple ‘reverse psychology’ technique to MAKE YOUR EX WANT YOU BACK?

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