***Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.*** ∼ Khalil Gibran
FIVE DAYS after your boyfriend tells you he thinks the two of you should take a break and date other people, you spot him with another woman at one of the bars you used to frequent!
WAIT A MINUTE.
You are incensed. You stand there completely stunned with your mouth agape.
It feels like time has stopped!
A plethora of emotions whirl through your heart and head so fast the room starts to spin, and although you’re tempted to walk over to him and say something ugly, you need to stop that impulse, turn around and walk away.
You don’t even remember getting into the car and driving home. You feel PANICKED at the thoughts swirling in your head:
So obviously, he didn’t love me as much as I loved him.
Our relationship clearly didn’t mean that much to him.
He was probably sneaking around with that girl behind my back!
Our break up was easy for him – he sure didn’t waste any time.
I mean nothing to him.
Nearly everyone can relate to this scenario and the intense humiliation it brings, when an ex moves on so fast that you’re devastated.
My Ex-Girlfriend Moved On So Fast – I Thought She Cheated on Me
Noah and Lauren had been dating since their junior year in high school and things stayed the same when they studied at the same college. Noah thought everything was fine until Lauren started acting distracted and distant after three months at school.
So he asked her point-blank one day, “What’s going on?”
She looked at him, and then her gaze dropped to the floor, “I met someone and I want to go out with him,” she continued. Noah felt a burn of anger and jealousy rising through him, and crazy thoughts began rolling through his mind:
Has she been with him already?
Am I a total fool?
Did she cheat on me?
What About Me?
One of these scenarios might feel familiar. When your ex seems to move on from you within a few days or weeks from the time you break up, it stings.
My Ex Has Moved On, But I Still Love Her
Experiencing good love gone wrong is one of the most painful times you can experience in life – especially when it feels one-sided.
When she said those words, “I just don’t think it’s working out between us,” you were completely befuddled. You felt the rug being ripped out from underneath you. You still love her.
When a partner decides to move on without you, it feels like a betrayal you won’t survive.
But remember that most people don’t act with the specific intention of hurting someone else; often, they make choices so they will feel better.
This doesn’t make their behavior right, but sometimes seeing someone else’s perspective can help you see things that unfolded differently in a way that you won’t take so personally.
Instead of stewing over your feelings of betrayal, try to remember why you loved this person in the first place, and that truly loving someone means you want them to be happy – even if that means they might be happier with someone else.
Resist the temptation to get “ugly” in the things you say, and instead, be supportive. Who knows? If there is a chance of the two of you getting back together someday, this method will surely up the possibility.
Trying to understand others is ALWAYS a good idea, especially if you’re interested in rekindling that chemistry with “The One That Got Away”.
If you want your ex to feel that DESIRE and ATTRACTION for you again, you need to understand her/him on a deep emotional level.
And the good news is, you can make a simple shift in your thinking that can bring a level of attraction, love, and security to your relationships that you never imagined was possible!
Is My Ex in a Rebound Relationship?
A rebound is an undefined period following the breakup of a romantic relationship. Rebound relationships are often short-lived due to one partner’s emotional instability and desire to distract themselves from a painful breakup.
Those emerging from serious relationships are often advised to avoid serious dating until their tumultuous emotions have calmed.
Rebound Dating
If your ex-boyfriend (or girlfriend) moved on to someone new in a ridiculously short amount of time, chances are good it is just rebound dating and not a reason for you to be devastated.
Just because he has seemingly moved on quickly, that does not necessarily mean that he didn’t love you, that the relationship didn’t matter to him, or that he is finished with you. More likely is the fact that he misses you, and the idea of being without you is so painful to him that he found someone quickly to distract him from these feelings.
If you want to learn more about rebound relationships, be sure to check our article.
How to Get Over a Break-Up
Getting over a break-up is a painful process for everyone; it feels like the loss of a dream.
You feel so much pain, regret and sadness. Yet, at other times you feel anger and rage.
“It’s a rollercoaster ride of emotions; way too emotionally challenging to start up a new relationship.“
It’s easy to rush the healing process and suffer consequences because of it.
Your mind is trying to heal your heart, and sometimes very painful memories fall away and you find that you only think of (and miss) the good times the two of you shared – in fact, you long for them. But this only slows the healing process.
It helps to find ways to look at the problems there were in the relationship and why it didn’t work out.
It’s often therapeutic to write down or journal specific instances where you argued or had issues with each other. This process helps you stay realistic and see the reasons why the two of you couldn’t make it work.
Being aware of these issues helps you to see where you went wrong and how you could approach things differently in the future – whether you get back with your ex or move into a new relationship with someone else.
And if you are interested in rekindling that chemistry with “The One”…
And if you want to force him or her to feel that DESIRE and ATTRACTION for you again…
Then you have to watch this short video. You might think you’ve heard it all before, but this video is actually pretty groundbreaking…
It reveals 3 critical facts that you must know if you want to have your ex on your doorstep begging you for a second chance…