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The Words of Well-Meaning People
No doubt you’ve had countless conversations with friends and family about the way you’re feeling. Maybe even about how to win someone back. You keep hoping that one of them will have the words you need to help your heart heal.
But nothing seems to help.
Well-meaning people have probably given you a lot of cliches on how you need to let them go and move on with your life. They’ve probably talked about how you’re so much better off without them… that your new life of independence is just the beginning of your happiness.
The problem is, you don’t want to move on. You’ve seen what’s out there and you want to experience it with the person you love.
All you think about is I want to get my love back.
In this article, we’ll do our best to avoid all the cliches and focus on one goal: getting your ex back into your life. It may be easier than you think.
Let’s dive in.
And by the way, if you are here because you feel like you’ve let that “special someone” go…
And if you want to go straight to the “EXACTLY how to get back the love of your life”…
Just click the button to learn how YOU can make your ex obsess over you again.
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Winning Back an Ex – Things You Should Definitely NOT Do
Before we dive into the things you need to start doing to re-attract your ex, it’s important to understand some of the mistakes you might already be making. Engaging in any of these “don’ts” will wash away any proactive measures you take to try to get back together with your ex.
It’s important to passively show your ex that you genuinely love and value yourself. When you love yourself, other people (including your ex) will start to show you love.
1) Don’t Obsessively Contact Them
I know, you’re sad. The first thing you want to do in the morning is send your ex a text. The last thing you want to do before bed is tell them goodnight.
You want to share every detail of what’s going on in your life with your ex. After all, that’s what your relationship was like when you were together.
Don’t do it.
Obsessively contacting your ex after a breakup reaks of desperation. It inadvertently confirms to your ex that nobody else really wants you. That they are the best thing you can find.
It confirms to them that they made the right decision when they left you.
I’ve made this mistake before. My ex and I broke up after a very close six-year relationship. I texted her constantly, telling her every detail of my day. Do you know what happened?
She either completely ignored me or verbally re-affirmed that we’d never get back together again. She kept telling me that I needed to give up.
Those words burned like lava.
So I stopped contacting her completely. Within a few weeks, she was proactively texting me, wondering where I had gone. We started to have normal conversations again, which she lead.
Five weeks later, we were back together in a renewed relationship.
The power of a personal no contact rule cannot be understated. To take things a step further with this concept, act as though you’re in the middle of something important when you hear from your ex. Don’t respond immediately.
Be a bit elusive and watch how they start chasing after your attention again.
If you want to learn how to do the no contact properly, read our article here.
2) Stop Posting Your Negative Energy All Over Social Media
The first mistake of posting heartbroken, negative posts on social media is that nobody wants to see it.
Sorry to break it to you, honey.
Your acquaintances and outer network will probably stop following you when you flood your feed with negative energy.
Ain’t nobody got time for that!
You may even alienate business or professional contacts that you’re not thinking about when you post.
On top of that, who’s going to want to introduce new people to you when you’re displaying such an emotional rut? Now is a great time to meet new friends and enjoy some of what life has to offer. Even if you don’t feel like it, it’s important that you spend some time with new people who don’t have romantic ideas of wooing you.
If you really need to talk or vent, find a few close friends who are there for you through thick and thin. Talk to them in person or privately over the phone.
Nothing good ever came out of whining or feeling sorry for ourselves on social media.
Lastly (and perhaps most importantly), your ex probably still has visibility to your social media pages. When they see how destroyed you are, you won’t be attractive to them at all. In fact, you’re probably the last person they want to spend time with right now.
If you can’t seem to post anything positive on social media right now, just go dark for awhile. Fight the urge to seek virtual attention with negative posts. It will do nothing to promote your cause of getting your ex back.
In fact, it could irreversibly harm it.
3) Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself
Spend some time thinking about everything you have to offer. Chances are, your ex is already thinking about these things (even if she/he isn’t telling you).
Feeling sorry for yourself during this time will put your mood in a constant spin cycle of sadness.
It’s literally impossible to get your ex back when all you do is mope and think about the “good old days.”
4) Don’t Try to Make Your Ex Jealous by Hooking up With Someone Else
This tactic has been known to backfire over and over.
In an attempt to show your ex that other people want you, you might be tempted to hook up (or get into a “relationship”) with someone new right away.
Don’t do it.
Yes, it will no doubt make your ex jealous. But it will also show them that you were never truly committed to them. They’ll feel like your relationship was a lie from the beginning and that you’re clearly better off without them.
This isn’t the proper answer to how to get your ex back. On top of that, you’ll probably end up using and hurting someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Instead, put all of your focus on yourself. Everything you do from now on (until your ex comes back into your life) needs to be self-focused.
Yes, that probably sounds contradictory to what you’re trying to accomplish. But the best way to get ex back is to stop trying to get them back.
Instead of hooking up or relationship jumping in a misguided attempt to get your ex’s attention, start by focusing on our appearance. Get some new clothes or a new hairstyle. Eat healthier and finally start working out.
You’ll notice as you do these things that your attitude will start to improve. You’ll be more open-minded about new experiences and will start seeing the world through fresh eyes again.
Join a meditation group or start doing yoga. Take an art class or take that trip to Paris that you’ve been dreaming of.
Be the absolute best version of yourself by looking better and feeling better. Trust me, your ex will definitely take notice.
And if you REALLY want to succeed in renewing the most important relationship in your life…
And if you want him or her to feel that DESIRE and ATTRACTION for you again…
Then you have to watch this short video.
It will explain to you in detail how to make sure your ex DOESN’T FALL IN LOVE WITH ANYONE ELSE, and to ensure that your ex will come back to you.
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How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Or Ex Girlfriend Back Fast – Make Them Attracted to You Again
How to Re Attract Your Ex – Things You Need to Start Doing
Now you know the things that are important to stop doing. And I cannot stress this enough. You need to stop any and all of the activities and behaviors we’ve just discussed if you want to get your ex back quickly.
But what proactive steps can you take to bring your ex partner back into your life?
1) Meet New People and Go Out With Your Friends
Look at you. You’re a brand new version of yourself. You’ve been working out, meditating, taking a class and feeling a heck of a lot better about life.
But you feel like I still miss my ex.
Damn!
Now is the perfect time to start going out with friends and meeting some new people. Again, the goal here isn’t to find a new romantic connection. If you truly love your ex, you’re definitely not ready for that. But who knows – maybe you will meet someone new. But don’t make it a goal.
The goal is to flaunt this new version of you for the world (and your beloved ex) to see with their own eyes. Make some plans with your friends to do something social that you genuinely enjoy.
Then genuinely enjoy it.
2) Put a Backburner Idea on the Front Burner
Doing something you’ve put off takes a bit of courage. But you’ll love yourself a lot more after you’ve done it.
And so will your ex.
If you’ve always dreamed of swimming with dolphins, now is the time to do it. If you have the perfect business idea but your relationship held you back, start putting the pieces in place to make it happen.
Is there someone from your past that you’ve wanted to reconnect with? Get in touch with them and make a plan.
Try a new restaurant. Get a $100 massage. Make the most out of every day by living the absolute best life you can.
Not only will you find yourself much happier, but your ex will see how you’re finally following through on your goals. They’ll find that extremely attractive.
3) Use Social Media to Your Benefit
Now that you’re starting to live your best life, there’s no harm in properly documenting it.
Whenever you’re out and about experiencing new things and enjoying yourself, take a lot of pictures.
Show how happy you are WITHOUT needing to fake it. Take pictures with your friends while you enjoy a night on the town. Flood your Instagram feed with pictures of you traveling solo to your dream destination.
Document the progress you’re making with your new business and post the details on Facebook. Not only will this drum up public interest in your business, but your ex will see if and be impressed.
No matter what it is that you’re doing, your ex will want to be a part of it. Chances are, their life without you is lonely and pretty boring. Show them everything they’re missing out on without being obvious about it.
Your posts will also attract new people into your life that relate to the things you’re doing. You’ll make new connections and build a bigger circle of influence.
Don’t go over-the-top with this idea though. If you post a dozen times per day, it’ll be obvious that you’re doing it for attention.
Make your posts organic and noteworthy. Avoid posting more than two or three times each day. Just make sure to choose the best posts that’ll make the biggest positive impact on your life and the perception of your ex.
But it’s important to not think about your ex when you do this. Avoid the temptation of posting things that you THINK will get their attention, don’t think about stuff like 10 things to say to get your ex back etc. Instead, focus on what YOU like.
Remember to always be the absolute best version of yourself that you can possibly be.
That is the person your ex wants to be with.
4) Do Something Unexpected
Is your ex’s birthday coming up and you haven’t communicated for several weeks? Ship them a small gift with a short message on their special day.
Make a point to not be the relationship version of yourself when you do this. Be elusive and caring at the same time.
Is your ex having a tough time at work? Order him lunch and have it delivered to his office with a quick note about how you hope he’s having a positive day.
The options here are limitless. Think about what’s important to your ex (not to you) and do something small and unexpected that shows them you still care without being the least bit pushy.
When you do this, avoid following-up with them in any way. If you get a call or text of gratitude (which you probably will), just play it cool. Say “you’re welcome’ and move on with your day.
If you don’t hear back from them at all, don’t assume it wasn’t appreciated. It surely was noticed. Keep silent and see how long it takes for you to hear back from them.
When that call or message finally comes in, again, play it cool. Treat her or him like an acquaintance rather than an ex. Be cordial.
If they’re interested in meeting up to thank you, be busy and work them into your schedule within a few days. It’s important to take your time right now and not rush into anything too quickly.
Being too eager often results in the exact opposite of what you’re trying to accomplish.
5) Take Your Time Before You Jump
After these things start to work (which, if you are diligent, they probably will), avoid jumping right back into the relationship after a few texts or calls. Remember that your value now has increased, both to yourself and to your ex.
Think of your ex as another person trying to pursue you or get your attention. Let them wait a little bit. Take all the time you need to re-evaluate the situation and see how your ex will fit back into your life.
After all, you never know… after making all of these positive changes, you might find that you’re ready to move on with your life without your ex playing a role.
That decision will be totally up to you. But at least now, it’s a decision that you have the power to make.
6) Take It Slow If You Do Jump
If you’ve decided that your ex remains a part of your life that you don’t want to live without, congratulations! The ball is in your court.
When you first re-connect, start dating from scratch again. Go for dinner and drinks. Talk about life as though it’s a first date.
While it may be easy to jump straight back into a full-blown relationship because of how comfortable things feel between you, don’t do it. You may end up in the same situation that ended in a breakup to begin with.
Take time to rediscover each other. Laugh together. Find out who your ex is and what’s most important to them.
Be a friend first. You have the rest of your life to be a boyfriend or girlfriend. Or a husband and a wife.
You Can Get Back In a Relationship With Your Ex Quickly
Winning your ex back might feel impossible right now. But it’s not. In fact, it isn’t even that difficult when you follow these simple guidelines.
Your biggest enemy during this process will be your emotions. Try your best to keep them in check until it begins to happen automatically.
This is a pretty long article, and to be honest, we’ve barely scratched the surface. The subject can get messy and sometimes, to be effective, you just need a step-by-step blueprint, which will tell you EXACTLY what to do.
So if you are really serious about getting the love of your life back ASAP, then the video below is a must-watch.
It will explain to you in further detail how to make sure YOUR EX DOESN’T FALL IN LOVE WITH ANYONE ELSE, and to ensure that your ex will come (crawling) back to you.
